Why does the USGA, Masters, PGA Tour and European Tour continue to take calls from losers who call to report rule violations?
Actually, I lied – I have one more question.
How in the hell do you even go about finding a number to call and report a rules violation?
After reading an article earlier about another caller trying to report a Steve Stricker rules violation during the first round of U.S. Open, I decided to take things into my own hands to figure out how to go about it. Is there a published number on the USGA website? Does it change weekly at each tournament? Is there a golf forum out there where “rule afficianados” hang out and bounce ideas around? I don’t know the answer to any of the questions posed above so I went to try and find out.
Since I am so very computer savvy, I first did what any savvy computer genius would do – I opened a new Google browser. I then proceeded to type “how to report a rules violation to the USGA during television coverage.” After about two minutes of searching without finding anything useful, I just gave up. It appears I am not using the correct search term or I just may not really care enough to look for the number any longer.
So back to the Steve Stricker incident on Thursday. In the end, a USGA executive talked to Stricker before he signed his scorecard so we avoided the debacle we all enjoyed at Augusta a couple months ago.
But I still have a beef with these losers who continually call in to report rules violations. So it’s my advice to the golf governing bodies to cease answering the phone and giving what these people want. In return, I have created a script for the USGA to put on their voicemail just in case these losers decide to come out of the woodwork this weekend:
Hello, you have reached the voicemail box of the USGA at the 113th U.S. Open at Merion Golf Club in Ardmore, PA. Thank you so much for calling. If you are calling to report a rules violation during tournament play, please leave a message after the tone and we will check the messages on Monday after we get back to the office. We strive to uphold the rules and dignity of the game but we have a walking official with every group and we don’t need your help. Again, thank you for calling the USGA during the U.S. Open and we would appreciate if you stop calling.
So there you go, USGA. If you just leave that scripting on your voicemail, I think we can really make a dent in stopping these insane rules violation calls.
Or, I have a better idea. JUST STOP TAKING THEM! Now that I got that off my chest, it’s looking to be a great weekend at Merion!